….perhaps the one experience that unites the entire human race. If you’ve taken a breath on planet earth, you’ve probably felt insecure at one time or another.
Or maybe you feel insecure at all times.
The thing about feeling insecure is we don’t talk about it enough. It’s sort of everyone’s embarrassing little secret.
And by keeping it in the dark, we don’t really ever deal with it. Which is such a shame because it isn’t God’s will for anyone to feel insecure. When we dwell in a place of insecurity, we aren’t living in the truth of what God says about who we are.
Insecurity causes us to push too hard at certain times, and remain too passive at others. We hide our true selves from others, which only perpetuates the problem in the first place. It ends up being a vicious cycle.
The first step to dealing with anything is identifying the problem. Here are 3 signs you might be an insecure person:
- You can’t celebrate the success of others.
Envy and jealousy are the constant companions of insecurity. If you find yourself frequently feeling envious of others, it’s a huge indicator that you’re battling insecurity.
Are you comfortable drawing attention to the success of someone else? Do you pay compliments easily, or do they get stuck in your throat? The next time you’re around someone who has experienced success in their life, do some introspection. Are you able to celebrate that success with them, or not? The Bible says that we are to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” -Romans 12:15
- You’re defined by your results
So, for those of you who are achievers, this one will be hard.
And I get it, having great results on the job or at school is a reflection on your hard work and skill. It’s all too easy to get caught up in that sort of thing.
But when you’re defined by results, it can be extremely problematic.
Of course, this line of thinking works fine when things are going well. But when you don’t get the promotion, hit your quota, or get a passing grade, things fall apart quickly.
At the root of this is really a question of identity. Who are you? Are you the sum total of your accomplishments? Or are you a precious child of God who has been chosen and loved unconditionally?
And here’s the harsh reality: so much of what you’re trying to achieve are circumstances beyond your control. Hard work and skill don’t always result in you achieving your goals. And then what? If you want to feel perpetually insecure, define yourself by your results.
- You’re an imitator, not an innovator
Insecurity squashes creativity every time. If you’re swimming in a sea of self-doubt, it propels you back to your high school years where you were too scared to try a new look, or speak out when you disagreed with something. Your insecurities as a teenager forced you into a little box where you would just figure out what the cool kids were doing and copy that.
But that’s no way to live!
The problem with that is the world needs you. God made you with your unique set of characteristics because he wanted the world to be blessed by all you bring to the table.
It’s fine to learn from others who are innovating in their field of expertise, but if you never lead the way with your own thoughts and ideas, insecurity could be holding you back.
Be you. Everyone else is taken.
Ok so now what? Perhaps, like me, you’re ready to acknowledge that insecurity is a problem for you. What are your next steps?
I want you to tell someone.
Pull back the curtain and admit to a trusted friend, mentor, or pastor that your insecurity is keeping you from living God’s plan for your life. Allow them to speak truth into your places of doubt and shame.
And I want you to keep the conversation going. It won’t be a ‘one and done’ solution. It will be a process where you’ll experience ebbs and flows of growth.
But with consistent effort and intentionality, over time you’ll get to a place where your insecurity no longer has the last word.
Truth will have the last word.
And the truth is, you are the beloved of God.