In my house, as a dad, I have the incredible privilege of raising two beautiful young ladiesâŚ.Well, actually my amazing wife is raising them, but I try to help wherever I can! Anyway, one of the phrases that’s popular with my young ladies right now is âSorry, not sorry.â Itâs a phrase I hear in the world around me all the time, too. It’s all over social media, music, TV — sometimes itâs fun…and sometimes itâs serious.
Now, I don’t know about you, but what this phrase reminds me of is how hard it is to say weâre sorry. It’s SO much easier to do something and then say, âHey, yeah, I did that, I said that, and you can deal with it because I am who I am.â In todayâs culture, itâs like as long as weâre âbeing ourselves,â we can be totally unapologetic for how that might affect another person.
No matter who you are or where you come from, we can all agree on thisâŚ
A world where we don’t care about other people and what they think, is not a world we want to live in.
The crazy thing about words is theyâre creative. I donât just mean in an artistic sense (although words can be an incredible art form). God used words to create the universe; he spoke things into existence (see the amazing creation account in Genesis 1). Since human beings are uniquely created in Godâs image and likeness, our words have the power to create realities for other people – we can either build them up or destroy them. And those words we share with other people…they are windows to our hearts! Jesus said, âOut of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaksâ (Matthew 12:34). In some ways that is a terrifying thought. Why? Because we realize that if our words convey judgment, hatred, fear, malice, anger — itâs because those things are in our hearts, and the âreal usâ is not lining up with who our God is and who he created us to be!
The good news is God’s love and grace literally change us from the inside outâŚ.And thatâs not because Godâs some type of self-help behavior modification plan. God, through his Spirit, because of the finished work of Jesus, wants to do an inside-out work in our hearts! The fruit of this heart change is a change in all our behavior, including our words.
We can embrace the amazing opportunity to partner with Jesus in the work heâs already doing in our hearts, and that work will overflow into the lives of others.
Jesus said, âDo unto others as you would have them do unto youâ (Luke 6:31). In other words, âsorry, not sorryâ becomes a thing of the past in his world. Jesus challenges us to live in a way that says, âI am sorry because I inconvenienced you…I’m sorry I hurt you…I’m sorry that my choice was not the right one when it comes to the way you see life…I care about you enough to lay my own feelings aside, my own expectations, and see how I can be a blessing to you today.â
âSorry, not sorryâ becomes a thing of the past in Jesusâs world. Click To TweetAnd hereâs the beautiful thing: Jesus is already at work addressing the root cause of our words (our hearts). Heâs doing the work, so…all we need to do is let him!
Let God do a radical heart work in and through you today. As you speak, be quick to apologize to God and the people in your life for destructive words (whether theyâre spoken, texted, emailed or commented on). We also need to perform regular heart checks on the core values of what we say. Are your words rooted in the radical love, joy, peace, and grace of God or in the fear, anger, judgment, and brokenness of humanity? Every time you speak, it will be a glorious opportunity to run into the arms of Jesus who died to deliver us from our own brokenness, and be a blessing to everyone you meet!
[For extra reading on what God thinks about the words we use, read James 3, Proverbs 10, and Ecclesiastes 5.]
To hear more about how words matter check out this 2 minute message