How to Love Well ❤️

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen my recent stories about a certain Someone or Something I really love…That’s right, I have a deep and undying love for East Coast bagels! Some good friends of mine from church recently brought me back some East Coast bagels from New York, and after church Wednesday night I went straight home and made one! (Well, okay, I made more than one, but I did stick to just one-and-a-half so I didn’t cross the line into gluttony)!

It’s been a while since I’ve had an East Coast bagel, so those bagels tasted extra amazing to me. Like I said, I loved them.

It got me thinking though…isn’t it funny the things we say we love? We love sports and TV shows. We love authors and ice cream. We love name brands and songs and pizza…and we also love people and God. We use the same word to describe our feelings for our favorite foods and the most important people in our lives, but what’s the difference? Because obviously we would never look at bagels and our significant others like they’re the same! And we certainly wouldn’t say that about God.

I think we fall into this language confusion because our culture looks at love like it’s a pretty weak and vulnerable feeling…but the Bible defines love as one of the most courageous acts possible for a person to commit. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

If you’ve been around church for any amount of time, you’ve heard that verse a lot. But take a step back and let that sink in…Jesus is totally radical! Jesus is defining love by pointing us to his death on the cross. That’s crazy talk by any of our normal standards!!

“Jesus is totally radical! Jesus defines love by pointing us to his death on the cross.” Click To Tweet

But it also makes sense — the cross of Jesus is the greatest act of love in human history. So when we say we “love” things, we don’t need to be legalistic about it…as if we can never use that word unless we’re actually offering to lay down our lives for pizza! But let’s at least keep that in the back of our minds when we’re trying to love God and people…We can only love people in the way they should be loved when we’re empowered by the Spirit, because that’s the power it took Jesus to conquer the cross.

In 1 Corinthians 13, the apostle Paul breaks love down for us again, and he repeatedly uses verbs to define love. Why? Because love is only displayed in action, not passive feeling. Just like the cross of Jesus, our love for others is on display in our actions. And our way of life should be one of self-sacrificial and absorbing love. A love that builds up others and ourselves. A love that places others before ourselves. A love that fulfills us by watching others blossom. A love that is selfless and God-glorifying. A love that is obedient, pure-hearted, and righteous.

This week, let’s focus on two very practical ways to love others…They just so happen to be the first two characteristics Paul uses to define love in 1 Corinthians 13: patience and kindness.

First, let’s love with patience. Possibly the best synonyms for patience is “long-suffering”…Love suffers long because love gives people room to be in process. Love is not circumstantial, so love expresses itself even when it is undeserved. And love levels the playing field for all of us because we love others from God’s selfless supply, not because the other person is lovable.

“God’s love is not blind. God’s love sees us for who we are -- and loves us anyway.” Click To Tweet

Second, let’s love with kindness. As my bride, Lynn, often says, “kindness matters.” And she is so right! Love is not rude or offensive. Instead it is founded in goodness, gentleness, and sweetness. That doesn’t mean we ignore others’ shortcomings and weaknesses…But kind love mimics God’s love for us, in that God’s love is not blind. God’s love sees us for who we are — and loves us anyway, with a kindness and a dignity we don’t deserve. Kindness wanes when we allow ourselves to dehumanize people. But when you look into the eyes of a living and breathing (and therefore loving and feeling) soul, kindness is evoked because that person bears the image of God (even if they do not know it or believe it).

Since our culture is already obsessed with the idea of love, let’s be a part of changing and redefining love according to the love we’ve received in Jesus Christ…Let’s speak loudly and boldly in a world that misunderstands love.

How Can We Walk in Love?