Why You Probably Need Marriage Counseling

Chances are, you need marriage counseling.

Whether your relationship is in trouble or not, there are so many benefits to marriage counseling that it’s hard to imagine not taking advantage of them.

There’s just one problem (ok, maybe more than one. But this is the main one…)

The stigma.

There’s this narrative that if you and your spouse are going to counseling, something is wrong. TERRIBLY wrong.

Someone cheated. Or you can’t stop fighting. Or you’re on the brink of divorce.

None of those have to be true to go to counseling. In fact, the reason I advocate for counseling is to prevent those situations.

Good marriage counseling isn’t just about dealing with problems as they arise—it’s about preventing them before they start.

Why wait until everything is falling apart to seek help? Especially when there are so many good options for counseling in this day and age. If scheduling is an issue, you and your spouse could even see someone virtually, from the comfort of your own home. How easy is that?

Another barrier to getting counseling: Blind Spots.

We all have them. We just can’t see them.

And those blind spots can become really problematic when it comes to your relationship. A good therapist will help point out the ways in which you might be hurting your partner without knowing it—or the ways in which your partner is hurting you without realizing it—so that you both have an opportunity to change your behavior or work through the problem together.

Be honest: don’t you see this in your own spouse?—there are things about them that they just don’t see—and guess what? Those things can drive you crazy. A therapist is that third party voice that points out areas in our lives that need some work.

Good counseling is cheaper than stress-induced sickness or divorce.

The cost of a struggling marriage can be immense. But the cost of not dealing with it is even greater.

If you were having health problems, you’d go to a Doctor, right? Or if you’re out of shape you’d probably join a gym (ok, actually joining a gym and actually using it to exercise is another issue altogether!)

My point is, when you face problems you can’t solve on your own, the best course of action is to get help.

Why suffer unnecessarily? Or cause your spouse to suffer because you’re unwilling to get help?

The reality is, we all need some help in our marriages. And getting that help, while it can be challenging, really is the path of least resistance toward health and wellness in every area of your life.

No marriage is perfect. If you find that your marriage is struggling (or headed in that direction), you owe it to yourself, to your partner — and most importantly, to your kids — to get help restoring your relationship before the problems become unmanageable.

One Response to “Why You Probably Need Marriage Counseling”

  1. Sherie

    I am struggling w/my husband’s desire to sell or rent our house that we have in Ridgefield. We lived there 7 years and now we are back in our home we used to live in 3 years (with our young adult kids and 1 year old.grandson). Now our family is in Ridgefield & Vancouver. Im concerned to sell it, but we need the money to pay off a Home equity loan that we will use to buy a lot in Castle Rock. Before thst, my husband wants to go to Youth With a Mission a year or two, which means quitting his very good job. This has been a desire of his for many years, but I am not sure it is a good idea. I feel guilty for this. I am willing, for him, but don’t want to be gone much. We used to be very involved in our special needs grandson’s life very much before we moved to Tricities. We drive 4 hrs every 2 weeks to see him and other family, but my husband would rather we buy a lot and trust we can build there in the future. As it is we barely see our daughter and one of our sons. His is due to his pizza delivery job,hers because she is working when we visit. I feel almost overwhelmed by stress about missing family daily. My husband & I are both believers. I want us to talk to a pastor, either our prior one at Journey in Camas, or our current one in Tricities. He says this is our decision. I feel very stressed, there is more besides this. I have been praying for my elderly Mom, Dad, and sister, who live in CA. Parents are divorced, Mom Christian, but hasnt forgiven my Dad from emotional & verbal abuse many years ago. Sister,41, is in a mental facility (this has been a pattern) and begging to get out. Because of her actions in the past, she lost custody of her 2 kids and had supervised visits for years. My parents and my husband dont want her to live with them for years of her actions. It seems she is really sorry. I am overwhelmed by stress just typing this, sorry, because no matter how good a Christian my husband is, he does not want us to be the answer to her getting out of her locked facility. I am really stumped by all this

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